Create Your Communications Experience

The Green Light Approach

The Green Light Approach

Most successful people have a 'forward lean.'

In our Communicate To Influence program we draw a parallel to the Ready Position, a posture that comes from all types of athletics, where you are on the balls of your feet. You can't be back on your heels and be "ready" - ready to move fast in tennis, basketball, skiing - any sport. You have to always be fast on your feet to move in any direction.

In speaking, when you are habitually in the Ready Position you are physically and psychologically forward. You WANT to get out there and talk, and convince and influence - you can move!

My friend Ben Sottile has been CEO of several companies, and coined another name for moving forward that I've found very useful. He calls it the Green Light Approach. We all operate under one of the three traffic lights, and he advocates Green.

• Those who are ruled by the red light stop themselves - or never get started.
• Those who always see yellow are very cautious about making a move.
• But those who go for the green light are staunch advocates of their positions and DO move forward. While they certainly slow down if they see yellow - and stop at the red signals - they see life as a green light. Moving forward unless directed otherwise.

Same in communicating. Business would be vital and vibrant if more people had a forward lean and looked at communicating, much like life, as a green light.

How to Start Communicating on Twitter

Exploding - the word for Twitter, and Social Media for that matter.

There's a lot of misunderstanding about Twitter, and particularly about getting started, so this post is JUST about that - and will be a little texty. Timely though, since I'm about to speak to a major Association's Management Team on finding "The Melody In Noise," and have found most do not know the Twitter basics - I want to point them here. (If you know the basics, go to this post on the Why and How of Twitter.)
 
Twitter is useful and a good ROI on your time if you don’t overdo it. (I do but you don’t have to…, you could spend a half hour a day and get a lot of value for yourself and your business.)
 
So I encourage it, and here are the beginning steps I’d recommend:
 
1.   Sign up at www.Twitter.com. Use your real name, or as close as you can get.

2.   Begin with a post (affectionately called Tweets), as simple as “I’m starting at Twitter.”

3.   Fill out your profile in the upper right. Use a good close-up picture of yourself, and put in a url (ideally your blog, or your company blog or website), and be interesting and somewhat open in your profile. Twitter is about transparency. People want to quickly ‘get’ who you are if they are going to follow you. I strongly recommend you do NOT check the "Protect my updates" box. Not transparent - and actually, why be on Twitter if you don't want to communicate rapidly, spontaneously and personally. I don't follow blocked updates. Fill in your location - your city is best - I'm not sure why some people put in 'everywhere' or a cell phone location - doesn't tell much.

4.   Follow me @BertDecker and I’ll help you get followers, and be glad to help you along. Give me an @ or DM message (which is a Reply or Direct Message) or email me (see below.)

5.   Write another post, and another. You can start with what you are doing but that’s pretty useless (who cares), so maybe reply to a follower, or ReTweet. Move to give value as soon as you can. But get some posts up.

6.   Then get followers (see below), and from that most will follow you. There are many ways to get followers, but just start by clicking on the ID’s and follow anybody to start. After you get 10 or 20 you’ll get the gist of it and begin to use the apps like www.twannabe.com and others.

7.   Here are some people to start following from Decker Communications and other good people who will probably follow you back:

@KellyDecker @DeckerBen @KhoriWhitaker @Allisoncds @DeckerComm @MatthewNault @Guy_Baker @DruScottDecker @SamDecker @ChrisSpagnuolo @Jeff_Bailey @OliviaMitchell @GuyKawasaki

8.   As soon as you can, get the great application www.TweetDeck.com so you can begin grouping your followers (friends or associates is a better name actually) and really use Twitter for both giving value, gaining value, and expanding your horizons as well as your friendships.

9. Caution! There is a learning curve. Expect it to take a week or so... if you have given value, you will see the value.

10. For further justification and next steps and good tips, now go to: The Why and How of Twitter

And Twitter me @BertDecker , or email me with any questions at Bert@decker.com
 
"The effectiveness of your communication determines the effectiveness of your life.”

Lie To Me - is a lie!

The Fox TV show that is surprisingly popular is based on a lie. Ironically, it is called "Lie To Me."

The primary reason I'm compelled to write this is because the producers use the credibility of communications giant Paul Ekman to promote an untruth - that you can tell whether people are lying. You can't!

I have great respect for Paul Ekman, one of the foremost researchers and experts in facial expression. Heck, I have a signed copy of his book "Unmasking The Face"  that I reference in my book "You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard," and have read and follow his research. I was surprised that he lent his name to the show as the "expert" because he knows you cannot tell when people are lying.

And that's what the show would have us believe. Lightman, the hero and expert who always walks around with his head cocked to one side peering intently into 'suspects' eyes, will say "You're lying" to someone, and of course they immediately crumble. That's fiction. Or Lightman will glance at someone and say who is angry, hostile, repressed, etc. All Hollywood.

In one segment Lightman sees one of his subjects rub his eye with his middle finger, plays it back magnified to his cohorts and says, "There, see the repressed anger." Then there are three quick cuts of Obama, Bill Clinton and John McCain all shown with their middle fingers rubbing their lips or face as if they are all showing the same emotion. Compelling, but inaccurate.

Here is a promo that shows an interpretation as truth, which is specious at best. Crows feet MIGHT mean a full smile - they might also be wrinkles.

The show is well done, highly produced, and is entertainment if you like that sort of thing. But my concern is that people will give a LOT more credence in reading facial expression and body language with a CERTAINTY than is actually the truth.

You can become expert at discernment, and when trained you can tell when someone is nervous or lacks confidence or is 'shifty' etc. Even untrained you'll have a pretty good feeling - but it can very often be wrong. Video feedback is a marvelous tool for learning more about reading ourselves and others - and that's our business of course. And having been in this business and the film making business for 30 years, I've learned something about real behavior, deception and theatrics. But personally, I cannot tell with a certainty a lie or even a half truth. Neither can Paul Ekman. And neither can Lightman - the actor.

I've been meaning for weeks to write this post, and I have Tivo the show planning to cut clips to show my points, but it's on tonight (Obama couldn't preempt Fox I just found out) so it's timely now. Watch the show if you haven't, and treat it as the fiction that it is. Unfortunately, I continue to watch it with a stomach churning emotion that too many people will treat this fiction as fact.

A New Level of Communicating Habits

Maxwell Maltz said it takes 21 days to change a habit. In training over 300,000 people over the last 30 years our company has found that to be precisely true (give or take a week or two!)

Our communications behavior is made up of literally dozens of habits, which we need to know first (through video feedback), and then practice to modify, improve or change. (Remembering 'Perfect practice makes perfect.') Maltz proved this in his self help classic Psychocybernetics.

How we think is also a matter of habit, so in our workshops we teach people new ways to look at their content - to focus, have a Point Of View, and avoid data dumps. And with the advent of new technology (ie. Twitter) we ALL have to look at modifying our habits in our approach to our audiences. (More to come on how to handle this challenge, and opportunity.)

In our coaching and consulting, the biggest obstacle we encounter is clients who just don't want to practice. If you don't like to practice either, think of what Malcolm Gladwell found in his research for "Outliers." The people with the most success in ALL fields were those who had either 10,000 hours of practice, or 10 years of experience (give or take an hour or year or so.)

We are all communicators. Gain mastery in this most important skill where you influence others every day at several important touch points. And those who have mastery and leverage in those formal speaking opportunities with large groups are those who know their habits, and practice at them.

Sully: Authority and Authenticity

Eloquent in his brevity in his first speech (21 seconds long) after the 'Miracle on the Hudson' crash landing, Capt. Chesley 'Sully' Sullenberger just had his first lengthy interview on '60 Minutes.' His legend continues.

There are many perspectives to analyze, laud and talk about when we consider this unique hero. It's the intention here to emphasize how the 'communication experience' Sully creates is that which reflects the man accurately. It is so rare that happens when a man or woman is NOT trying to make a 'presentation.'

He was uniquely brief in his first (of many) ceremonies honoring him, which reflects perhaps why he was also uniquely brief in his communications with the air traffic controllers when under intense pressure to pilot his aircraft to escape disaster. And he did it.

"I was sure I could do it," he said to Katie Couric in the interview - and we believed him. And we believed him throughout this long (for him) interview. (See complete 60 Minutes here.) When Sully said he had to 'force himself to use his training to force calm on the situation' Katie asked, "Was that a hard thing to do?" Sully replied, "No, it just took some concentration."

So cool, so task oriented (thank God) and so even in temperament. Is he a machine? No - and I (we) teared up along with him when his eyes filled as he reflected on the human lives involved, and the humanity effected by this epic event.

Captain Chesley Sully Sullenberger is a hero, deservedly so. He is uncomfortable with carrying this mantel, by his own admission And yet he acknowledged that this is a time where we want and need heroes - men and women of character and integrity that we can look to for guidance. People need to be inspired by role models who have authority and authenticity, and Sully Sullenberger has that. And he communicates that.

I truly hope that he sees his role now not in flying airplanes, but in using his new platform to teach us a thing or two about discipline, teamwork and leadership. I hope he continues to motivate people in his communications - he is so naturally good at it. Brief yet always making a point, getting out of his own way, and showing a slight smile with great eye contact. He connects. With authority and authenticity.

Sully, we want more...

The How and Why of Twitter

 Why Twitter? This post is in three parts:

1. Why should you do it? (And why am I advocating it here, since many of you are interested in this blog for speaking/personal communications.)
2. Beginning and Intermediate Twitter. (That's me.)
3. Advanced Twitter. (I'm not there, but will point you to who is, and ways to get there.)

So if you are already using Twitter, skip to points 2 and 3. But if not, here's why...

1. Why Twitter in the first place. Who cares about "What are you doing now..." chats anyway?

• I've been testing Twitter (I think I'll call it "T" for brevity) for the last five weeks for the ROI on time. It is worth it. And forget about the "What are you doing?" question - the Twitter folks should can that phrase. It's for kids chatting - not relationships and business.
• T is about giving value and getting value, and thus building valuable relationships.
• Through T I've connected with several key influencers that are important to my business, and many new friends who aren't. I've seen $10,000 raised in 48 hours just on T, and have already raised over $1,000 myself for The Salvation Army (my favorite cause.)
• I've learned a lot by the references to blogs and other people I wouldn't have known - useful business info and interesting general info.
• T (and other social media) is a big part of today's communication marketplace, and leads to the most powerful communication of all - face-to-face.
• Because of T I tried to work out spending an extra 4 hours for dinner to meet with a new T friend (it didn't work out though, but surprised at the interest generated by T for the face-to-face connection.)
• Because of T I connected with and filmed Nancy Duarte and had an interesting post.
• Gained exposure on several radio/podcasts/blogs that wouldn't have happened.
• Strengthened or renewed connections with friends and family.
• I've been entertained. (And my wife has been very patient during the T learning curve.)

 2. Beginning and Intermediate Twitter.

• For the last 5 weeks I've been intensely Twittering. I have about 500 followers (friends or associates is a better word) and follow about 450. I'm not trying to build up thousands right away like many, but to find people of like minded interest and value. If you build it, they will come. Here's what I've found...
• TweetDeck is an indispensable tool. It's a good interface generally, but it is essential to 'Group' your Friends. After a few hundred friends you can't effectively follow all their tweets, so don't try. Go into your Tweet Stream now and then, but group your best friends. I use A, B and C, with A being family and must see, B being interesting and valuable, and C being "Oh, that's a good Tweet, let's see if there are more where that came from."
• T has no rules. Too many take advantage of this freedom and just blather too much. They create Tweet Clutter. So be valuable within the freedom of no rules.
• Give information. Reference a blog post, or an interesting article, or an Alltop link. Be valuable. I try to have half my tweets as reference of value, and the rest a combination of comments (replies), ReTweets and maybe a quote or proverb. Now and then I'll throw in something interesting I'm doing, but maybe nobody is much interested so I don't do that too often. But within your value you do want to show personality.
• I'm amazed at the number of T "Stars" who just blather - or spend too much time talking to their inner circle, or just keep telling us "What they are doing now." Who cares?
• But you may not want to "unfollow" someone you know or respect just because they blather. All you have to do is to not put them in a group you regularly check. They can blather, but you don't have to listen.
• Another great tool is FriendOrFollow - where you can find out quickly, and alphabetically, (this is very time consuming in the Twitter application), who is or is not following you. 
• Use Favorites to favorite a Tweet to save it and refer or retweet it later.
• I do look at people who follow me, and follow most if they look interesting, have a website, and have pretty equal follows and followers. And I look for new interesting people to follow through links from the people on my A and B lists.
• Other good tools that you can look at are Twitpic,  Twitwall,  SocialToo,  TwitStats,  and if you want to know how you are doing TwitterCounter. And there are many more you will find once you get started.
• If you have an iPhone, (Correction 12/9  Twittelator Pro CAN ReTweet - I just needed to read the instructions (here). So Twittelator Pro goes to the top. I had said) "Tweetie is the best application ($2.99 at the App Store.) Twittelator Pro is good, but you can't automatically ReTweet. Tweetsville is great except it crashes to much for me, and Twitterfon is OK."

3. Advanced Twitter

• Since I'm not there, let me point you to some folks who are, and whom you will want to follow, and you can also check out their key posts. Take the best and leave the rest:
• Guy Kawasaki - one of the best internet and application gurus, gives useful information and has over 30,000 followers.. Be sure to see his posts Looking for Mr. GoodTweet  and Twitter as a Twool.
• Jim Connelly is from the UK so you can connect with him at night if you're in the US. He is not only good and friendly, he may have the best bang for the Tweet of them all. Be sure to read his How I Attracted 8,000 followers in 8 Weeks.
• Chris Brogan is a guru who is very well liked on Twitter, and has a very good post on If I Started Today.
• Perry Belcher has a video that is good on how he attracted 5,000 in 90 days.
• John Jantsch of DuctTapeMarketing is great and has a great post on Twitter for Business
• Jay Ehret I met through Twitter only, but we are going to meet in Austin when I visit son Sam (@deckermarketing) over Christmas. I find his blog posts onTwitter  very valuable, and he is worth following.
• And an interesting post on the Twitter SeeSaw.

Blogs, and Twitter, take time. So I'll stop now. But I hope you proceed to the next level in both.

And I'm at @BertDecker! I'd like to follow you...

Alltop - Inspiring New Ideas

Guy Kawasaki has a brilliant new product in Alltop. It's an aggregator - what he calls a 'magazine rack' of the best of the internet - and a lot more.

I noted it before for speaking, but after using it for awhile now, I find it to be the fastest for the best of whatever you're interested in. So...

Since this blog is about communicating and speaking, I'm going to feature here the best, or most interesting, or otherwise unusual post I can find from Alltop that relates to getting your message across, influencing, and making a difference.

Here's the first:

From the blog Speaking About Presenting:

Scientific Evidence for Banning Bullets

Multitasking is a delusion - which at a minimum should revolutionize anyone's use of PowerPoints or Keynotes. Tests prove (and experience shows) that you cannot be talking and have someone supposedly listening while they are reading your slides. (BTW - use Black Slides!)

A Short Aside

Scott Schwertly has a great blog at Ethos 3. They are also very good at PowerPoint design, and have won some prizes at Slideshare. And I appreciate them interviewing me here, but I am biased. So I'll be short!

Video and Speaking

Because I'm on vacation using a slow internet connection from a cruise ship in the Sea of Newfoundland - I'll be brief. I couldn’t help drawing some attention to the following comments on a blog - unsolicited - from Chris Spagnuolo. And he is one who knows about communications.

“…something happened this week that I would have to say is probably one of those rare life-changing events.

“…If you’ve never seen yourself deliver a talk on video, try it.  It’s an eye opening experience.

“…Good speakers will become great, and great speakers will become phenomenal.”

The nice comments are good, but most important here is the power of video feedback. I’m still amazed at the great majority of people in business who still don’t know how their most important tool works – themselves. Delivering ideas, information, motivation.

Observed behavior changes. See yourself as others see you – it’s transformational.

Michael Phelps and the Olympian Smile

I'm into the Olympics, and there's not enough time to see it. But the Opening Ceremony on Friday - called the greatest staged event we might see in our lifetime by several observers and I think they are right - opened us all to this opportunity to see unforgettable excellence. And interesting communications insights.

A great example -  did you see those 2008 drummers in the opening number smile! I mean, here are the usually serious Chinese doing an incredibly intricate and difficult task, and smiling - so unexpectedly  No doubt they were trained to do so, and it made such a difference. See the shortened version here, and see smiles where we expect grim concentration...

Speaking of excellence, we're going to see a lot of Michael Phelps - and I don't think we'll tire of him. Two reasons:

1. He is an amazing swimmer - maybe best of all time. If he wins his eight Olympic Gold Medals, that will be irrefutable. We don't tire of excellence.
2. He has a winning smile. He is engaging, with an irrepressible personality - and it's his smile that takes us in. And his irrepressible exuberance!

Watch him here. And watch him over these next few days and see if you tire of him. I doubt it.

A smile seems like a minor or superficial communication skill - but it is very important to creating a positive communication experience. Michael Phelps is a winner who does exactly that, as does Dara Torres, Mary Lou Retton, and dozens of Olympic champions that come to mind. (Including our own Bonnie Blair whom we have trained for her public appearances.)

But CEO's and leaders of companies, and any one who speaks for that matter, are winners too. Or they should appear to be when they are taking the stage and advocating their winning ideas. Yet how many smile - and show their own personality. Most are way too serious, or look grim, which is exactly the opposite of the message they most often want to convey.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone."

Smile and the world smiles with you, and will want to listen, and even keep you around.