The Likeability Factor

This most important communications skill is also the title of Tim Sanders great book. The Likeability Factor is one of those books filled with stories, thus immensely readable, and will bring great value to the reader.

This seems like a "soft" subject, but it's not. I've found in over 25 years in the communications and speaking business that one of the three critical skills in connection and influence is 'likeability.' (Or likability - it can be spelled either way. I used likability in my book "You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard" but since this is Tim's time we'll use his spelling here.)

Likeability breeds connection, and there are basically three ways to grow your likeability:

1. Your smile (and as 'soft' as this sounds, it is also one of the three most important behavioral skills to bring to the conscious level, and that we emphasize in our training programs.)
2. Your voice (with the plethora of cell phones and conference calls, likeability is most often communicated, or not, by the sound of our voice.)
3. Your attitude. And it is here that Tim excels in his research, ideas and concepts.

What is most interesting about The Likeability Factor is not that it is filled with entertaining and insightful stories (and thus 'likeable',) but that it is based on extensive research Tim did with over one hundred people in indepth interviews. And what they said and what he found is revealing and important:

• One of Tim's first experiences was with a disc jockey who's life changed when Tim worked with him to increase his 'L-Factor.' It was that experience that made Tim say "Someone had to evangelize the importance of being likeable."

• There are four factors everyone can work on to increase their own L-Factor:

1. Friendliness
2. Relevance
3. Empathy
4. Realness

• My son Sam Decker had Tim Sanders speak at his Austin based Texchange awhile back, and he did a great and lengthy post on the emotional connection that Tim talks about.

• Probably the one concept you can take out and use today is paraphrased from the late great master of communication connection Dale Carnegie and his classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People." (It's still #118 on Amazon's top sellers!) He said:

'You will win more friends in the next two months developing a sincere interest in two people than you will ever win in the next two years trying to get two people interested in you.'

• Three of many good thoughts from Tim:

1. "Have you made someone smile today?"
2. "Be a storyteller."
3. "The only reason to give a speech is to change the world." (That from one of his speeches - you can see him in many clips on YouTube.)